Staff Reserved


Wait! That restricted sign isn’t for you. It is for Matthew. This page is created and maintained solely by his staff and Mr. Heinzel is not allowed in! We feel there are a few topics and issues that should be discussed behind his back (it’s not gossip, really, it’s constructive). That said, check out what we have to say, you may discover a new side of the all-business, super-marketer Matthew Heinzel.
 

Long Lost Twins?

Let us take a moment to talk about Matthew. Great guy, super smart, super detailed, nice hair, hard worker, perfectionist, demanding, slave driver… I better stop myself there. The point is, he looks exactly like John Travolta (in the Saturday Night Fever era). If you disagree you are wrong, but we need you to vote in the poll because we would like to show you how exactly how wrong you are (By the way, if you say Christian Bale, we know you are lying and just trying to throw off the poll.)
 


 

Hellooooooooo Ladies

Matthew spends so much time working hard on being the greatest marketer to ever grace the planet, we as his staff feel he may get lonely from time to time. Now don’t get me wrong, we are definitely awesome; however, we feel that he needs to meet new people (even if they are slightly less awesome than us). Women to be specific. So if you are a woman and would like to have a date with an international man of mystery, please fill out the form below.
 
P.S. Do not worry if you don’t live anywhere near him, he travels frequently and will most likely be near your location soon.
 
P.P.S. Please do not change the phrase in the above statement from “he travels frequently” to “he gets around.” Nobody said that.